The 239 Million Dollar Question

After a 25-year absence from the World Series, it might well be easy from time to time for a casual Dodger fan to declare the team to be terrible and simply walk away, but I'm no casual Dodger fan.

I was born in the shadow of Dodger Stadium.  I've lived my entire life in the Los Angeles area, and I've been a down home, never-say-die, bleedin' Dodger Blue fan ever since I can remember.  If I could have managed it, I would have been born wearing a Dodgers cap.

My life philosophy has been to always live within easy driving distance of Dodger Stadium, and my family knows that when I go, my final wish is to have my ashes strewn over the green, rolling Elysian Park hills that overlook the stadium beyond the outfield walls, so that every summer I'll have the best seat in the house to watch my beloved Boys in Blue.

I've seen my share of bad Dodger teams, and I have 2 sons, the oldest 21, who have only seen their favorite team play in the World Series through videotape.  The Dodgers in the Fall Classic is only a legend to them.  That said, year in and year out, I've never really given up on a team or a season.  I've always supported the Boys and felt, like that brave and wonderful 5th grade Dodger fan in giants country, Casey Johnstone, that win or lose, they're my team, dang it, and "Let's Go, Dodgers!"

But this season - this awful, appalling and horrific season is really something special.

There were Dodger teams in the past that we sort of expected to be bad, and there were teams with the assorted bum sprinkled within.  But this 2013 squad, this $239 million team that was supposed to make a serious run at winning it all, is the definition of dreadful.  They have truly made it painful to watch their games.  Half the guys seem to be sleepwalking, and the other half are just incapable of bringing forth talent they clearly don't possess.  Far too often it seems they themselves don't believe they can win.  I don't think I've ever felt quite like this before. 

WHO'S A BUM? 

This guy, that's who.  He's so bumtastic that he gets shown twice.  Can the Dodgers please stop signing pitchers with  these ridiculous tattoo arm sleeves?  Ronaldo Belisario has sleeve tattoos as well. I'm starting to see a disturbing pattern. 

Here comes another bullpen bum...

No tattoos...but there's plenty of bumtacity running up and down this guy's pitching arm.  And take off Bulldog Hershiser's number, ya bum!

This team's bummitis runs deep.  It's not just on the pitchers, we've got guys that stink at the plate as well....

BUM

While almost everyone around him has been injured, Dre here has had no such excuse.  After signing a huge contract, and being the last man standing of the Dodger veterans, Ethier had a chance to step up and show us all what he's made of.  Apparently, he's made of bummerite.  I showed him without a bat, since he really hasn't had one all season long.

 TOP BUM

I managed to resist the urge to openly call for Damn Mattingly's head most of this season, but he leaves me no choice!  This guy is a bumalicious field manager.

Just a couple of Mattingly's unexplainable, unexcusable recent game decisions: 

A tie game on the line with 2 outs and RISP, both Ellis' and Hanley Ramirez on the bench available to pinch hit, and you let Luis "I only Pop up or Strike out" Cruz bat ???????  With the game on the line?? REALLY?????????????  Result: Cruz strikes out. Dodgers never rally again. We lose.

A tie game on the line in the 7th, with Paco and Howell in the bullpen, and you bring in the aforementioned, proven Bum Guerrier????????????   REALLLYYYYY????????????  Result: Guerrier immediately gives up 2 runs.  Dodgers never recover.  We lose.

Final nail in the coffin.  In a recent interview about the Dodgers - Padres rivalry, Mattingly denied any bad blood between the teams.  He was then   asked if any teams do inspire those deep emotional feelings for the Dodgers.  His answer:  The Red Sox.  REALLY ????????????   Not the guys up north wearing Halloween colors?   The Boston Red Sox ???????????   Fire the bum!

LONG-TIME RESIDENT BUM

Ned Colletti, Dodgers G.M.  Here's the guy who not only assembled this year's collection of Bums 'R' Us, but he's been bringing over a steady stream of overpaid and over-the-hill bumfection to drag my beloved team down for years. 

HONORABLE MENTION BUM

"If they would just let my guys juice up."

Batting Coach.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!


I never thought I would call my team "bums" in any other than that loveable and nostalgic Brooklyn Dodger way, but these guys have earned it.


THANKS for reading! 

So I Went To See Puig Play For Myself...

Hey Everybody,

My man inside Dodger Stadium offered up a couple of tickets for today's Dodger game, so I naturally jumped at the chance to see the Cuban phenom himself in action.  Here's how it all went down...

 I decided to be a good environmental citizen (and a well-planning beer drinker) and take the train.
The trick is to take any train to Union Station in downtown L.A., and then hop on a shuttle bus that runs you up to the stadium.

Before you can go anyplace, you gotta figure this out.

(Some of these photos look pretty nice in larger size.  Just click on any photo and it will blow up for you.)

I might have known this was gonna be a rough day for the Boys, as it started out on the rough side for us "shuttle captives".  I guess today was our shuttle bus driver's first day on the job since he drove right past the drop-off point for us riders - slowly enough for us to see our stop fall behind and disappear behind us.  He then proceeded to circle the ENTIRE STADIUM.  He eventually got back to the original stop, and we were off.

No worries as we got to our seats soon enough to catch the first pitch. Below we see Atlanta's second batter, Jason Heyward being walked by Dodgers starter, Matt McGill.  These first inning walks were more bad omens of the awful afternoon ahead.  I suppose McGill's 6.29 ERA on the display should have been another unlucky omen...

That said, we certainly can't deny we had our chances, as we quickly loaded the bases in our half of the first...

Whizz kid Puig led off the game with a single in what amounted to be the Dodgers' only rally of the day.  That's him standing at third base in the photo above.  The problem with this scenario however, is Puig is on third with bases loaded and not at bat, so the best the Dodgers came away with was one run on a slow, tired roller from Skip "15-Game Hitting Streak" Shumaker.  Yay!

That was all she wrote for the Dodgers as Dan Uggla later slammed a three-run homer and we had to endure the first of too dang many tomahawk chops from the Atlanta backers in the crowd.

It was definitely time to take a walk after that, so my buddy and I headed over to the Stadium Club to grab a couple of brews.  The last time I was on this, the Club Level, I showed pics of the historic Dodgers wall art.  This time lets check out a couple of shots from the Stadium Club, which offers the best selection of beers on tap on this level.

Here's the Stadium Club Bar.  The view of the game is out and to the right.

Not a bad set up in here.  They have a fresh pizza station.

They have unrecognizable offerings with bou-jee exotique names.

You can dine under a wall of Dodger greats from the past.

Here's the view from the Stadium Club.  It's now 7-1, Atlanta, and McGill is about to be yanked.

On our way back to our seats, we had our first Dodger celebrity sighting of the game.  Exiting an elevator alone, and heading right toward us, was none other than Dodgers G.M., Ned (Please Be Gone Next Season) Colletti.  The first thing I noticed was the guy looked like he was wearing the stress and frustration of the team on his face.  I said, "Hey," to Ned and he was nice enough to shake my hand.  I almost felt sorry for the guy and patted him on the shoulder.  I remarked to my friend afterward that if my beer hadn't cost $11, I woulda dumped it right on Colletti's head.

We got back to our seats just in time to see this couple get featured on "Kiss Cam".

By now, it was garbage-time.  Belisario was pitching, and most of the fans who were cooking in the sun this afternoon had left.

Puig hit a double in the ninth, but was eventually left at third as the Dodgers quietly faded away in the ninth.

There was nothing left to do after that shellacking but to gather up and get out when suddenly I noticed this through a crack in some window shades....

Waitaminute!! Does that say...whom I think it says?

I glance in and see a desk piled high with figurines and trophies that all say "Tommy Lasorda".  I look up and the walls are covered in photos and memorabilia from Tommy's glory days. It's Tommy Lasorda's office. WOW!

Sinatra's here, Don Rickles, famous athletes and movie stars.

Here's Tommy, Vinny and Al Campanis. 

Almost forgot the second celebrity sighting of the day, Dodgers Elvis!

The Boys lost today, but it was just another day at the office for Puig.  the young superstar went 3 for 4 on the day with 2 doubles, and threw an insanely bad-ass strike from deep in right field to home, holding an Atlanta runner at third.  Scott Van Slyke made 2 nice sliding catches out in left field as well.

Ended the day at Congregation Ale House in Pasadena.  I do love to ride the train.

Thanks for reading, everybody!