Oscars, Smoshkers - How About Some Cardboard Awards?

Aloha, everybody,

Coming to you direct from Hollywood - sort of Hollywood, anyways - are the 2016 ATBATT Cardboard Awards. 

Leading off is the only voice that could possibly emcee such a prestigious event, the Best Baseball Announcer Ever...

Best Chameleon...

Best Forearms...

 

 They used to call Garvey "Popeye" for two good reasons. 

Best Romantic Tragedy...

 

 Best Frozen Head Tragedy...

 Best World Series Villian...

 You think Chase Utley was out of the baseline? You shoulda seen ol' Hipcheck Jackson in action against a double play throw to first. 

Best Baseball Villians (Team Edition)...

 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best Baseball Curse...

Best One, Two Punch...

 

Best One That Got Away...

 

Sure, the Pedro Martinez trade ranks up there as one of the worst trades ever for the Dodgers, but I figure the best Pedro could give was a win once every four or five games. 

Konerko lived up to his potential of being an iron man with an iron bat, anchoring the lineup just about every single night.

Best Brow Ever...

Best Foreign Import (Asian Edition)...

 

Best Foreign Import (Latino Edition)...

Best Ensemble...

 

It still wasn't enough for a World Series. 

Best Cheater...

 

  

Best Man of Honor...

 

Best Baseball Marriage...

Homeboy married Marylin Monroe. Nuff said. 

Aloha!